Bummed

I had everything planned out to be perfect for tomorrow (he comes tomorrow - yay!). My apartment was going to be spotless. Not only spotless - but really clean. All the little things, like dusting, that I usually don't do, I was giong to do and it was going to look great. I was going to find the perfect outfit and look great. A friend was going to help me pick out my outfit, and two friends from beauty school are coming over saturday to do my hair and make up. I was going to get time to practice my speech for Saturday morning and know it like the back of my hand. I was going to have my cell bio homework done ahead of time. It was all going to be perfect.

Except it isn't at all. I don't have time to clean my apartment to be spotless, like I wanted to. I will just barely have time to get it picked up and mopped. Despite going shopping with a friend last night and then on my own for a total of nearly four hours, I didn't find the perfect outfit. All I wanted was a simple black or brown skirt with a nice shirt. But apparantly no one in the world wears just a simple brown or black skirt. Everyone wears pants or those bermuda short things. Yuck. When I finally did find the perfect dress, no one had my size. Then I found a good second, but when I went to pay it was $60.00! It was on a clearance rack so I thought it'd be at least 40. And 40 isn't bad at all for a nice dress I would use over and over again. But $60, when I can't really afford a new outfit anyways, is a little much. I have no time to practice my speech as much as I should before I give it tomorrow morning and it will be a rush this morning to get my cell bio homework done in time. Oh, and to top it all off, the other night I hurt my neck muscles at an event for graduating seniors, so lifting my head or laying it down is nearly impossible. And I have a slight headache and am starting to feel a bit under the weather.

Everything was going to be so perfect. I want it to be perfect. I want to look great, have a clean place, have my homework done, give a great speech Saturday morning, be HEALTHY, not have my period (which I do), and just be able to relax and enjoy tomorrow. But I don't have time to get it all done.

I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, because that really doesn't help a person feel better or accomplish anything, and I will. Just right now I'm sad that nothing is going according to plan. My friends are coming over still to help me get ready, so that will help. This afternoon I'm going to go to one last store and see if I can't find something great to wear there. I'll practice my speech this morning/afternoon/tonight and tomorrow before I give it. I'll get my homework done. My period will get lighter, I'll take some vitamins and eat lots of fruit and hopefully will NOT get sick, and if I have ANY time left over I'll clean my apartment as good and fast as I can.

It'll be okay. Besides, I need to remember that the rest of everything doesn't matter: what really matters is that he's coming and we'll be together again.