Yes...

I'm still alive. I'm still working. I'm still trying to figure out insurance (I think I'm going with Blue Cross Blue Shield).

And that's about it. Sorry life isn't more exciting.

Overwhelmed

Health insurance sucks. This is my decision.

I am currently doing the unthinkable - I am without health insurance. But I am in the process of finding good health insurance. And what I've found so far, sucks.

I can get cheap cheap chea plans - for under 100 dollars even - but there's a catch. The deductibles are high - like 5000 dollars high. I don't have 5000 dollars to pay before they would help me out with anything. I don't even have 200 dollars for that matter. This would look like a better option, if I didn't already know that I need to go to the doctor. I have a sty coming in on my inside lower eyelid. This is my second time with one in the last few months and like last time, I'll have to go get it removed. I was on my dad's insurance before, so they covered it all..but I'd hate to see what that bill costs when my deductible is $5000.. especially since I have to go in twice - once to check it, and then once to remove it. Bah humbug. I don't have that sort of money.

I did find some better seeming plans. There is one from Blue Cross Blue Shield for a cheaper deductible. I found one with a $150 deductible...but then the premium is over $200 each month. I don't have over $200 to pay each month. In the fall I'm not going to make ANY money. Bah humbug.

I guess I'll probably end up taking one somewhere in the middle. There was another one by BCBS that didn't seem so bad. On Friday I'm going to have to make some phone calls about possible plans.

Health insurance sucks.

In other news, I saw Pirates of the Carribean tonight...the third one. Good Good Good movie. The first one is still better, but the 3rd was a HUGE improvement over the second one. I was disappointed at the end, and I admit I cried. BUT the after scene (after the credits) made me a bit happier.

I'm Still Living

Well, everyone, I'm still alive and kicking. Life has been relatively monotonous lately. If you want to live like me, just do the following:

Get up. Eat. Go to work. Eat. Come home from work. Eat. Do nothing. Sleep. Repeat.

It's not all bad though. This past weekend I went home for a few days to celebrate my step-dad's 50th birthday by helping ot throw a surprise party for him on Saturday. It went very well, and he was happy with it. On Sunday I headed over to my real dad's house to celebrate his birthday and father's day, since I can't afford to go home a second time this month. That went well too. Afterwards I drove back home, through some bad storms - but I survived.

This week, there isn't anything on my agenda except working. I cleaned my apartment last night, so that's done. I got some more movies from the library and some books on cougars, boa constrictors, and parrots. I figured it's time I start reading up on animals I work with.

That's about it from my corner of the world. It finally is hot here in Fargo, and the sun is supposed to shine more often than not this entire week - there's hope that our flood levels will go down yet!

Have a great week!

Life

Just thought I'd let you know that I'm still alive and kicking.

Working a lot is difficult, but I'm determined to save money and pay off my credit card as much as I can before the summer is up.... And I'm currently working on ways to earn more money.. I'll fill you all in as soon as everythign pans out for sure.

I wanted to wish everyone a great weekend! :)

Today, I'm smarter!

Today I did things a little bit smarter. Since I'm at the library again, I decided to update my blog as one of the first things I do, so that I make sure I have plenty of time.

As I was saying yesterday, things are going alright. I work a lot, which after 4 days (and 42.5 hours of work) is finally catching up to me. I'm thankful for it though because it makes up for the time I had off with Fabian, and also it keeps my mind off of being alone at home. It's a lot easier not to be sad at home for 4-5 hours instead of an entire day.

As far as grades go for my last semester at college I earned all A's, except for 2 B's. My total cumulative GPA for college is 3.51! :) I just made it to "honors" officially, even though I didn't technically graduate with honors. That's okay. I know I did it, and I'm proud of myself. I got a B in Cell Bio and Invertebrate Zoology... which makes me happy since I thought I might get C's in both at the beginning of the semester.

I finished reading Harry Potter 5 in German, and have moved on to Harry Potter 6. I'm extremely interested and curious what happens... I'm also playing the Sims 2 now, something I treated myself to buying when Fabian was here. I'm not quite as into it as some people are, but it is really interesting and I'm happy I bought it.

And that's really about it in my life right now. I have a TV at my new apartment, and I get 3 channels in, all of which are pretty blurry and hard to see. I'm working on getting the internet at my new apartment as well, but that will take a couple weeks longer still.

I wish everyone a happy memorial day weekend. I'm not sure when I'll be back - I likely won't come to the library on Friday.

Reality - it sucks.

hey guys. I am currently at my new connection point for the internet..the public library. Since I only get 60 minutes of computer time here per day, and I only have 6 of those minutes left to write this post, I'm going to try really fast to get you caught up on my life...so here goes:

Duluth was magnificent. Fabian and I stayed at a nice Bed and Breakfast (he paid), which was built in 1909 and it was beautiful. The owner was extremely nice, made us delicious breakfast, gave us wine, and we even got the ENTIRE place to ourselves one night... seriously, the owner wasn't even there. Lake Superior was, as always, gorgeous and we visited some great restaurants and the Glensheen mansion (go visit it if you can, it's worht it!).

We got home on Saturday night. Fabian left Sunday evening. Since then, life hasn't been the same... and I have to admit I'm pretty unhappy (as is he). We're both just staying busy and plugging away at life...It helps to know that we have one less good bye to go through before he comes forever...

I'm working a lot. This week, I work 64-65 hours in 6 days... so I'm pretty busy. It's nice to go home at night, and not to have to do homework.... all I'm missing is Fabian.

Anyways, I better go, I have 1 minute left. Hope this little update helps, I'll try to update again soon.

Frustration

So, life in the last 2.5 weeks has been great. Fabian has been here, I haven't had to work, I graduated college, things are really great.

Then I found out that I bounced a couple of checks. We're human, it happens. The stupid part is that I got charged 215 dollars in overage charges by the bank. Stupid bank. I called them up and got them to remove several of the various fees, but I still have to pay about 85.00 dollars in charges, even though I only went about $15.00 in the negative.

Seriously - anything that CAN go wrong this year DOES go wrong.

Today we're heading up to Duluth. I'm going to go deposit money in my bank account, then not touch that money until next week. Then we're going to Duluth and I'm going to just enjoy the last few days with my fiance.

I'm GRADUATING!

I'm GRADUATING today!!!!!!

WOO HOO!

* Dances *

No more teachers, no more looks! No more janitors' dirty looks!

...

I'm DONE with college FOR.EV.ER.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Woo hoo!!!!!!

I got a 78% on my test I took this afternoon, which should give me a C in Cell Biology.

I got a 94% on the test I took this afternoon online, which gives me an A in Anthropology.

I don't know what I got on my final from Monday or this morning though.

I took THREE exams today - but now I AM DONE!!!!! I never have to study..again!

Can't tell I'm excited, can you!?

Last Day - Ever

So the day has finally arrived. Today is my last day of college - ever.

I should be way more excited than I am! I have three more finals to take. I take one at eight this morning, one at one this afternoon and one... whenever I want (its online). I don't actually know if I'll get to the online one this afternoon or not. I need to take the notes for that class still (because they help w/the test), which will take a few hours. I can probably get it done today if I'm diligent though.

College has loomed over me all semester - and for four years straight. I was always studying, procrastinating studying, or enjoying a summer before going back to study. My life, it seems, has revolved around studying. After today, I don't have to study any more.

What am I going to do?

Actually, I think I'll adjust well to my new found adult-life without studying. :) Especially since soon I start working 60 hours a week!

And really, I should be studying right now. But I've figured out that if I get a 50% on my test this morning, the worst I can do in that class is a B. And if I get 44% on my test this afternoon, the worst I can get is C. And my third test is online, so as long as I take the notes and double check my answers, I'll get an A (or a high B at worst). It's just so hard to care anymore. Actually I care a lot, since in both classes I could make an A and a B (respectively) if I just do well enough. But the tests are both difficult, so I don't want to get my hopes up either....

But it doesn't really matter what I get in the end, as long as I pass. These are definitely my least stressful finales ever. And after today, I'm not a college student anymore.

Finally Normal

Hey everyone. I just thought I'd update real quick to let you know that my fiance did arrive this past Saturday. He looked great in the suit he wore and I was told I looked good in the dress I wore. No, we didn't take any pictures - in all the excitement it was completely forgotten.

Things are well between us and it's nice to finally be together after such a long time. If I don't update much in the next few weeks, it's because I'm too busy enjoying my time with him. :)

So until next time, have a good week!

En Route

Fabian is officially sitting on an airplane right now, somewhere over Europe or the Atlantic ocean.

Unfortunately he arrives on a later flight than originally planned, so he'll get here at 7:40 pm.

That's 12 hours and 40 minutes away.

I'm so anxious. I just want the day to be over. But first I have to give a speech, then listen to four more hours of speeches... then I have to wait still like half of the day. Good thing I have cleaning to keep me busy, at least for a little while. And some friends are coming over, so that'll help.

I keep telling myself that by the end of the day, he'll be here. And it just doesn't seem real to me.

Update on my Bummed-ness

So, after a busy day, I must say that things might just turn out perfect after all. Or at least as perfect as real life can get.

I skipped my two classes today (gasp) in order to do everything, but I accomplished it pretty well.

My apartment is 80% clean. And not just picked up the mess, clean - like scrubbed clean. I have more to do tomorrow but should be able to get it done before he arrives.

I found something to wear. Actually - I found 5 somethings to wear. I went ahead and bought all of them because I couldn't decide what would be best. So my plan is to ask my friends who are coming over tomorrow to help me get ready. What I don't wear I'm bringing back to the store. Well, all except for one shirt which was on clearance, so I can't bring it back. But it's a shirt I've been wanting since December, so it's okay to keep.

I got all my homework done, so I don't have to even think about it until Monday sometime.

I did practice my speech, though not as much as originally planned. Still, with some review of my sources in the morning and one more run through before I give my speech, I will be ready to give a good speech in the morning.

While I still have my period, it is at least getting lighter.

I feel healthier!! I took some tylenol this morning, as long as some vitamins and that perked me right up. Plus I ate lots of fruits and veggies today - lots meaning more than usual.

So, things should be good. I've already woken Fabian up and he should be on his way to the airport right now as we speak with a friend of his who agreed to drive him there. He's got a long day of traveling ahead of him, but the next time I talk to him should be at the airport when I pick him up on Saturday!!!!!!!! I'm so excited!!!

Bummed

I had everything planned out to be perfect for tomorrow (he comes tomorrow - yay!). My apartment was going to be spotless. Not only spotless - but really clean. All the little things, like dusting, that I usually don't do, I was giong to do and it was going to look great. I was going to find the perfect outfit and look great. A friend was going to help me pick out my outfit, and two friends from beauty school are coming over saturday to do my hair and make up. I was going to get time to practice my speech for Saturday morning and know it like the back of my hand. I was going to have my cell bio homework done ahead of time. It was all going to be perfect.

Except it isn't at all. I don't have time to clean my apartment to be spotless, like I wanted to. I will just barely have time to get it picked up and mopped. Despite going shopping with a friend last night and then on my own for a total of nearly four hours, I didn't find the perfect outfit. All I wanted was a simple black or brown skirt with a nice shirt. But apparantly no one in the world wears just a simple brown or black skirt. Everyone wears pants or those bermuda short things. Yuck. When I finally did find the perfect dress, no one had my size. Then I found a good second, but when I went to pay it was $60.00! It was on a clearance rack so I thought it'd be at least 40. And 40 isn't bad at all for a nice dress I would use over and over again. But $60, when I can't really afford a new outfit anyways, is a little much. I have no time to practice my speech as much as I should before I give it tomorrow morning and it will be a rush this morning to get my cell bio homework done in time. Oh, and to top it all off, the other night I hurt my neck muscles at an event for graduating seniors, so lifting my head or laying it down is nearly impossible. And I have a slight headache and am starting to feel a bit under the weather.

Everything was going to be so perfect. I want it to be perfect. I want to look great, have a clean place, have my homework done, give a great speech Saturday morning, be HEALTHY, not have my period (which I do), and just be able to relax and enjoy tomorrow. But I don't have time to get it all done.

I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, because that really doesn't help a person feel better or accomplish anything, and I will. Just right now I'm sad that nothing is going according to plan. My friends are coming over still to help me get ready, so that will help. This afternoon I'm going to go to one last store and see if I can't find something great to wear there. I'll practice my speech this morning/afternoon/tonight and tomorrow before I give it. I'll get my homework done. My period will get lighter, I'll take some vitamins and eat lots of fruit and hopefully will NOT get sick, and if I have ANY time left over I'll clean my apartment as good and fast as I can.

It'll be okay. Besides, I need to remember that the rest of everything doesn't matter: what really matters is that he's coming and we'll be together again.

Success

As my faithful readers (which means KC and Tami for sure) know, I am currently in an anthropology seminar course which I need to graduate. The purpose of the course was to conduct an original research project in the area of folklore and write up a paper by the end of the course.

Being from a very strong science background, I was very apprehensive this entire semester about this course. I wasn't sure what folklore was, even after we had talked about it a bunch of times and I wasn't sure if my project on my family would count as folklore even. But, because I needed this class I just kept plugging away and working hard on my project.

On April 10 we turned our rough drafts in. I had worked really hard on mine, so that I wouldn't have to redo it a lot when I got it back. For two weeks everyone in the class proofread and critiqued each others' papers. Last night we got to listen to everybody's opinions on the their work and find out what we can change. After being an half hour late to class and hearing the proffessor say that a few were really good but several needed a lot of work still, I was scared out of my mind. I was sure that mine sucked and that as my proffessor had told me earlier in the semester, I had "missed the folklore boat." I was thankful when my name got picked to be the first to get her paper critiqued and I held my breath, waiting for what I was sure was about to come...

Except it didn't. Not even a little. I was told that I had a great paper, that it made perfect sense. That everyone had originally been apprehensive about my topic and wasn't sure if it was really folklore, but once they read my project they completely understood what folklore was and why my topic was important. I was shocked. One girl said she had even read the paper to her mom and her mom had understood it too. I was told I could make a few minor changes to make the paper better, but that was it.

This semester has been really hard for me. Between financial difficulties, missing my fiance, working a lot, and having 21 credits I thought I was never going to make it through to the end. I went into this semester hoping for all A's except for in two classes and wanting to come out on top. Then when the semester got hard, all I wanted to do was pass. Now as the semester comes to an end I find myself just wanting to be done with it all. But it was so nice last night to get congratulated on doing a very good job.

And my grades are turning out not so bad. Here are the expected outcomes:

Animal Physiology - B
Cellular Biology - B or C (most likely a C; that class kicked my butt this semester)
Invertebrate Zoology - A or B (depends on how he curves)
Senior Seminar - who knows. Hopefully an A or a B.
Anthropology Seminar - A
Anthropology online course - A

So... overall not bad at all, all things considered. And I found out that my broken camera is being sent back to me as we speak, which is faster than expected. I should get it back by early next week, if not the end of this week still. I found my other camera battery the other day, which has been missing for months. I get to go to a senior day event at the Fargodome tonight before work: it's a party for seniors with free stuff, basically. I am treating myself to getting my hair done tomorrow. Tonight is my last day of work until May 21st (I get a much needed vacation). I have my last cell bio quiz ever today too. Saturday I give my senior seminar speech and saturday evening I get to see Fabian again, which is the best part about this all.

Things are finally looking up. It's about time.

5.5 Days

In 5.5 days Fabian finally gets here! I'm sooooooo excited.

I've been thinking about all I have to do this week and when to get it all done. I figured I'd get all my homework stuff done by about Wednesday, then on Thursday would spend the day making myself beautiful (going to the hair school for my friend to make me pretty), cleaning house top to bottom, getting a big chunk of my final draft for a paper finished, and practising the speech I'm giving on Saturday morning.

Then I was reminded today that I also have to do homework for Cell Bio, which will take at least 2 hours probably to do AND read another scholarly journal article and summerize it for Thursday.

Sigh. Just when I think things are finally perfect - I remember something else to do.

So here's my weeks schedule:

Monday: Turn in Animal Physiology Paper (DONE!), Talk to instructor about speech (DONE!), Work 2-9 pm, go to international group, finish critiqueing one more paper for Anthropology.

Tuesday: Finish critiquing papers for anthropology and get copies made, study for cell bio quiz on Wednesday, start cell bio homework, practice speech.

Wednesday: Study for cell bio quiz, take cell bio quiz, work on cell bio homework, maybe start cleaning apartment, practice speech, work from 5 - 9 pm (last shift for AT LEAST 2 weeks).

Thursday: Read article/write summary, print out summary and turn in, finish cell bio homework, clean-clean-clean, go get hair done, start final draft of anthro paper. Figure out what in the world to wear to pick Fabian up.

Friday: practice speech, clean, go to Seminar speech presentations from 3 pm to 9 pm.

Saturday: Give speech and watch presentations for senior seminar from 8:00 am to about 2 pm. Go home and finish cleaning. Get beautiful. Resist urge to look at watch over and over again to see if I can go to the airport... Go to the airport and relax because I'm back with my fiance which means that everything in the world is good.

Sunday - May 20.... get through the stress of the end of school, celebrate graduation, rejoice at not having to work most of the time, and enjoy the time with my fiance.

I'm SOOOOOO EXCITED!!! I have a busy week, but I think I can get through it okay. As long as I don't let evil aunty flo ruin my good mood (she did that already all morning), I'll be okay.

whine moan complain

i had the cysts in my eye finally removed. other than the part where i thought i was g oing to pass out briefly it wasn't so bad. except now the novacaine has worn off and my eye hurts and feels not normal.

whine whine whine.

i have a thing to write before three today... bah. it's hard to do anything because it all involves using my eyes and my vision is blurry.

moan complain crab.

okay, i'm done now. i'm happy those things are gone, i just want my eye to not hurt any more or be really blurry.

Sometimes it just hits a girl!

Wow.. do you all realize that soon I'll be done with college?

Gasp.

Most times lately, I'm just stressed out/tired/unhappy/annoyed at everything going wrong in life lately with my money or lack thereof and I'm too busy to remember that soon Fabian will be here and college will be finsihed...

But this morning it sort of hit me. Fabian gets here in a little over a week, and college will be over soon. I'll be a graduate and will never have to open another textbook if I don't want to.

Wow.

Unfortunately there's still lots to do both before Fabian gets here and I graduate. The goals for today are:

1. Finish my zoology seminar speech and slides.
2. Study for my invertebrate test tomorrow.
3. Maybe go to German group meeting (we all eat dinner and talk in german). Whether I go or not depends on how the zoo seminar/studying goes.
4. Go to prayer hour at 7:30 for the victims of Virginia Tech.
5. Go to candlight vigil at 8:30 on campus for the victims of Virginia Tech.
6. Afterwards either hang out with friends or come home and study....

There you have it! :) I already have the first 4 slides down, so I'm proud of my morning so far.

Wow... I'm so excited to be starting the next chapter in my life soon.

(to friends and family: sorry if you're tired of hearing about me graduating soon..I just can't contain my excitement sometimes).

When It Rains...

It pours.

I have to get my camera fixed. I spent over 300 dollars on it in September of 2005. Within 6 months the lens cover, which turns on the camera, broke - making it impossible to turn the camera on. I got it fixed under warranty and it cost me nothing.

But now, it broke again. Stupid camera. The problem is, I really like my camera. So I'm getting it repaired. Except I have to send it to Laredo, Texas and it will take 7-10 business days to repair, once they get it. Which means that I won't have it right away when Fabian comes here. Sad. But I will have it shortly after he gets here, which is good.

The reason why I HAVE to get it repaired is that I NEED to take pictures when Fabian is here. We have to have proof that we are really together for the future when we start visa stuff. So I'm getting it fixed.

I don't mind really, it's just sad cause I'm tired of things breaking. When it rains, it pours. :'(

I'll get it fixed this once, but if it happens again in the future I will probably just buy a new camera. I like my camera, but it's not that nice.

No Drive

Well, I'm finally at the point where I can work on my last big project for the semester: my zoo seminar speech. Once that is done, all I have are little quizes, tests, paper revisions and homework assignments to keep up with it - and then finals week. That may seem like a lot, but it really isn't.

Except, here's the problem:

I have no desire to do homework anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bah.

I don't feel like working on my seminar project. My brain doesn't process the information all that well. I know I need to - I just don't want to.

So I think I'm going to go revise some papers that need revising and eat my lunch. I feel bad for wasting time this morning not working on things... I just have no energy for homework anymore.

I keep reminding myself that I have several hours tomorrow morning and evening to work on things, four hours on wednesday, and the entire day on thursday. What I don't get done before thursday will be done on Thursday. Once I get the last 5 sources read, then I can write the speech and make the power point slides. I should easily be able to get it done by thursday evening. Then on saturday after work my group and I can get the slides put together.

I just got soooo used to having so much to do and not enough time to do it in, that I feel like I'm horrible for not doing it this morning too - but I actually have plenty of time to get it done, so there's no need to feel bad. It's weird, not having so much stress.